From a notecard in my bathroom drawer
What do you expect at 3:00 in the morning? Yes, I am cleaning and organizing. Well, I was, but then I decided it was time to go to bed, and went to brush my teeth again, because it had been like 5 hours, since I originally did it. No, I didn't eat or drink anything besides water, but I like the fresh feeling :) However, when I went to wash my face, from the drawer that I cleaned and organized a few days ago, I pulled this, the last sign of disorganization in my bathroom 8x20" organized drawer.
I watched words fly today. They took a break to catch their breath and gather more fuel for the fire.
Waiting for my turn to return in flight or RUN. Not able to collect my thoughts. Knowing this was a battle not worth the fight and already won.
I caught a single drop of water upon my soft, smooth skin from which it rolled passed my heavy breath, filled with anxiety.
Covered heavily, drowning in sleeplessness, weaving in and out, counting up and down. I have a deadline. Passing it quietly. Contented to stand graciously, patiently, waiting. Having no depot at which to stand. Not knowing. Where it stops, nobody knows. I'll ride it aas long and as far as it goes. Paying my tolls, it's fare, they keep up the roads. Sometimes they're__________, but I'll do my part, pay my two cents. I remember when it use to be...well, what's the sense...what the heck. I'm still going, moving along with others beside me. Some follow, some walk. Some lead, still others beside me. My peers they don't look to me, but keep up, their eyes and their focus ahead. With no further ado, I needn't say more.THE WORDS IF HE'D SEEN MY HEARTI shut down & wore a simple frown. I felt a heart sink today. Hope lost. Faith forgotten. I wonder what a Father would have done today. Had he chosen what went down. If he'd caught the fear with his comforting hand. If he'd heard?
From something growing moldy in my wet Bible
My Bible absorbed a quart and a half of water at church last week. I decided to go throuh it and remove the paper toweling that two sweet girls placed between the pages to help absorb some of the water. I noticed that my Bible does smell moldy, and although some of my notes had been salvaged that I should put them somewhere else for now, so here is one little piece of paper transfered. I had read an email from a friend, and responded as follows:
Thank you for the email. It really is encouraging to see God move. I know He is always moving even when we ccan't see it, but when you're praying for someone and even the smallest inprovement is made in their life it's exciting. It's kind of like a roller coaster. God is the roller coaster always moving. We stand in line and watch, with the anticipation of riding. However, when we actually get on and ride the wild ride that is Christianity, it is so more than we ever anticipated standing in line. As we clickity click up, praying and hoping, the free-fall down is so much more exciting! Feeling the wind in our face is exhilerating with our friends and family's arms in the air with ours, screaming. Isn't it funny that God often provides even more than we ask knowing that our hearts long for even more than our prayers express, especially when it would be impossible without God, renewing our faith and hope. We finish riding and beg for another go around, instead of being content to once again stand in line. Praise God for miracles. I will continue to pray, and know God will continue to provide answers to those prayers.
Missions
Our little missionary, Victoria, said on the way home from Awana the other day, "I am going to tell the kids at school about God, because they don't know Him." I almost cried.
I was telling Adam though that I believe we are all called to missions, some are called to the mission field, some support them financially, and some folks are prayer warriors. We are called to pray without ceasing, and going or supporting both require lots of prayer. I would like to be more involved in missions. God has so thoroughly blessed us.
Speaking of blessings, the other day Sebastian and I were playing war with Buzz Lightyear foamy bullets. He got a little over-zealous and tried shooting me, instead of walls and stuff. So, I was standing in the entrance to my room and tried closing the door after he shot me and I stopped the bullet with the door. Wow! that was amazing, and the best part is that Sebastian was excited about my super powers, stopping bullets in mid-air.
O.K. cubbies tonight (3 & 4 year olds, in a Bible based boy scouts)was not easy. It wasn't bad going through it although I wouldn't call it fun at all. I was wiped out at the end of our club meeting. Really there was only a brief time of scheduled activiy. Which meant that next week I need to be mucho prepaired. I think I am bringing some modeling clay or something I can play with the kids and enjoy as well. Or maybe a game or something, but tonight was tough. I need to remember why I am there. I am one of the first introductions to God that some of these kids will have. Really though it was never easy, I wouldn't say it was hard, just tiring. So, next week I will bring water, so that when I start getting hoarse I can down some fluids. I want to be excited to go, like my kids. They were so excited for Awana to start. In case you're wondering, Awans stands for Approved Workman Are NOt Ashamed, from 2 Tim 2:15. Anyways, enough complaints. I want to stay focused, even if I am slightly when I don' t know, maybe, no really I don't know what my deal is, but I don't want to get involved.
On a lighter note, Victoria ate her first school hot lunch today, which set us back a wwhole $1.40. She was so excited to tell us about it. She was not excited to tell us about how she sat through gym class today. She said she didn't even get picked once, to get up and move a little bit. She said I think Sierra (another girl that didn't get picked, one of her best friends )and I are too little. It just sucks that they only have an 8 minute break before they eat lunch, and then they have to stay indoor for gym. She had been so excited about playing soccer. I guess there's always next week.;)
What a Week!
O.K. our first week of school, and yes we need a three day weekend when it was over. I can't believe the weekend is over and we go back in a few short hours! I need to get some sleep! Victoria started schoo this week. Her favorite part was lunch. There's documented proof, she filled in the blank on a worksheet. My favorite part of today was_________. She wrote lunch and drew a picture. Her first lunch was, by request, a ham sandwich (I learned to only make a half, because there isn't time for a whole sandwich), watermelon, (which needs a tupperware, not a ziplock), and popcorn. When she got home she told me that she got to be line leader and that she didn't have much time to eat, not because she was line leader, but because they only have half an hour to eat and play! I swear we use to have at least a 45 minute lunch hour, if not an entire hour! "We had to eat fast!" she told me.
We had a lot of PTA stuff going last week, t-shirt sales, and new members. People commenting on the attire of PTA volunteers during a school function. We took it as constructive criticism! We are new and learning.
While Victoria was gone we asked Sebastian if he missed his sister, he said, "I like being home just a half me." When a friend asked him about being home without Victoria and he simply replied, "I like myself." I guess he's not to broken up about her being gone all day. When she got home they fought the first day like cats and dogs, but day 2 was much better!
Day 2 Sebastian picked up a 3" in diameter lizard. It was like 7-8" long. I thought it was dead until I got Sebastian to put it down. Then I realized it was alive. It scampered off into the yard from the patio when Ginger approached. Adam got to see it first and he said it was a horny toad. I've never seen one, until now I guess.
The weekend kind of flew by, but we did get to spend time with friends and family. We even rememebered to call a friend of 12 years ON HER ACTUAL BIRTHDAY and wish her a Happy 31st. I hope it really was. I get to see her Tuesday. Just wait until she sees what she got!
We also got to spend time with an old friend, who was visiting from out of town and have dinner together and share some peach pie, of which I was able to bake 4 this week, Pies that is. Three were peach, and one was apple. I am looking forward to making another apple pie, it's probably my favorite!
We had a fantastic BBQ with some friends today. The kids all played so well together! It doesn't seem to matter who it's with our kids love other kids. They so rarely fight while playing with other children, and not once today! What amazing kids! Thank you God!
