Yearning for my sister
I am so blessed by so many wonderful people, and really have want for nothing, but I have a yearning for my sister to be near. I don't know that we are super close, but we have some kind of bond that I can't explain. Maybe she doesn't feel what I do, but it is a real feeling. I went to put some of the kids clothes away and the top drawer was cracked opened and I opened it. It was empty, which I knew it would be. We had emptied it before Beth came to visit. The house didn't feel any more full nor was I overwhelmed by a visitor while she was here. It was so comfortable, so natural for her to be in and around our lives. Although we didn't DO anything while she was here, I am kind of glad even though I felt bad that she spent the money to come out. I guess if we lived in the middle of nowhere and not Vegas she would probably still come to visit and expect to be entertained. Something about having so much around you to be entertained by makes you feel obligated. We didn't even make a single trip to California while she was out which we usually do when she comes to visit. I won't say I didn't feel bad that we just kind of hung out, but it was nice just to spend time with her. I suppose our house is probably a little quieter than her own, and probably more boring. I always say though that a bored person is only bored because they are boring and she never really seemed bored. It was nice to see her drawing/sketching. I enjoyed hearing what she shared about her life and ideas of plans for the future. I often wished I lived in Wisconsin, and while I would love to be there for the 5 seasons (yes, there are 5 in some parts of the world), I would love to be chilly more of the year than warm, because I tend to get more snuggly with my husband (which he loves), I would love to be around for all of my already present and the up and coming neices and nephews, I mostly would like to continue the relationships I have with my siblings that I have but grow so slowly through the miles. Yes, I would have to deal with family politics, and learn to love them and they me through our short comings, but that's what I do with my friends I have here. I wouldn't trade a single relationship I have here for all the tea in China, but I do wish sometimes that the investing I was doing was in my siblings with whom I will grow old no matter what. Friends even in my few short years have come, become so close that they almost felt like my shadow, and have moved on and sometimes so have I. It doesn't matter how many miles, days, years, or any other obstacles stand in the way my siblings are still my siblings. Some day we'll have to figure out together what to do with mom and dad and a few other issues, but I don't just want to be a phone call they have to make to make me feel a part of it, I want to be a part of it, now and forever.
posted by MrH @ 12:49 AM
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