Officially a runner
O.k. they say it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. I have been running for a long time, most of my life off and on since my junior year of high school. I think it very well might be my addiction. Even when I shouldn't run, I feel sometimes I have to. It has been three weeks of serious running which I haven't done since high school, which has been a decade now. Previous to the past three weeks I had been running four or five days a week, but only low mileage. I ran a few road races, but improperly prepaired. It seemed like I had been running a good amount, but having a training schedule and running with a goal in mind makes such a difference! I was going to run a marathon in January, but realized I would probably hurt myself trying to push that hard that fast and so instead I'll try and run a half-marathon in December. I have a few days less than 6 more weeks of training before my event. Thus far, I feel pretty good. I have been running primarily at night, because there really isn't any other time to do it. Sometimes I can squeeze in a run during the day when Adam is working from home for a few hours, but he's been in the office so much lately trying to strum up more business. My training schedule pushes forward a little harder than I have previously enjoyed, believed, or read was healthy. I am trying not to get injured in this process. I would like to continue my training and eventually do my marathon, after which I will most likely quit running. I will stay active in other ways. I do love running, but as some must quit speed, cocaine, or cigarettes I know that although my addiction might not be as detrimental to my life or well being it really isn't the best for my body, and I would hope to be able to firm up after losing all the muscle I am sure to accumulate in this process. I think that is part of the reason I ran such low mileage, is that I am afraid of muscle.
I just have to write this...I was encouraged to jump out of bed by a ringing phone this morning. I do enjoy resting, but if I have something to do, like answer the phone I am out of bed faster than you can say go. Anyways, I was up, even though my friend encouraged me to go back to bed, mostly I believe because she felt bad that I was awoken by the phone. However, I thought while I'm up I am going to check my email and read some blogs. While I was doing this I heard my children get up and begin their day not by whining, but peacefully stretching, playing and talking to each other, pleasantly. Usually they wake me up whining or with their relentless fighting. I reallized this morning that they probably wake up this way more often than not and I am simply not awake to appreciate it. So, I am going to try and be around/awake to appreciate their morning with them. Running at night is not going to make this process easier, but I feel as though both are necessary for now. I love my children and my husband and I know running makes me a more loveable wife and mother, because it is a release for my stess and boy oh boy do those endorphins, however you spell them, make me feel good! I encourage anyone that is physically able to exercise.
Party animal or party wallflower?
Adam and I are going to a party tonight. It is the 30th Birthday of another of our friends. We have been going to quite a few of these lately. Maybe we are closer to 30 than it seems. I am closer than Adam. We celebrated our 6th anniversary last week and we didn't get carded. Adam decided that we're getting older finally. I could care less about age, it's just a number assigned to me for the amount of years I have been able to live a wonderful life. What is young? What is old? I don't feel old, and I don't feel as though I ever will. Maybe when I'm like 80, IF I hurt from moving for 80 some odd years. I think about that though. When I run I take a day off to recover, but I don't like to take to much time off, because I hurt more and getting back to where I was is even harder. I plan to stay active my entire life, until they either have to strap me to a looney bed or my muscles and bones just give out, maybe when I'm like 110. Life is such a precious gift. I am trying to enjoy each and every day. Today could be my last, so it should be my best.
I am contemplating what to wear tonight. Hopefully, I will not spend 3 hours after the party with my sick husband in the chilly outdoors, in heals or running across rugged terrain in fish nets. Should I wear casual clothes and tennies or get all gussied up on a night out with my husband, friends, and no children? Oh, the silly dilemas I face that have no real significance, and would not matter at all tomorrow if I were dead.
There Are One billion Souls, But Only One You
To all of my hurting, confused, or lost friends. There are one billion souls, but only one you. Know how special you are. I love so many people. God is my first love, and I try to keep Him number one. TRY was the key word in that sentence. Sometimes I fail miserably. My husband is a big love in my life. I have two beautiful children that I cherish, even when I would like to pull my hair out due to frustration. Well, maybe I do the cherishing before and after those moments. I wish I could learn to cherish them through those moments as well. I thank God for the vast number of people that He has placed in my life. Yes, there are only so many hours in a day and days in a week, but no matter how many people I meet and come to love, I always have more to give. I love my life! I am not saying that every day is a pinic, but most days are, and even the hard days always have some flicker of light to keep us going. It is only when we close our eyes that we miss out, or when we stop listening that we don't hear. I was running the other night, O.K. I have been pretty much only running at night. However, I remembered something that I had forgotten. Sometimes it takes being in the darkness and focusing on things in the radiating light to see them most clearly. I am truly blessed and am so thankful. Thanks God!!!
Adam and I were at a gathering the other day with some good friends and some people that I hardly know. By the end of our time together I had learned more about both groups of people. I am glad that I was there to hear the stories and concerns. How will we/I know how to deepen relationships and grow as a person if I don't listen to what the people around me have to say. I only wish I would keep my mouth shut a little more and just listen. I heard a lovely woman express her deep passion for things of God and her passion to share them with others. I would love to be there when she shares her heart. I think that is going to take making a phone call or dropping by amidst the business of my day to hear what she has to say. If all she has to share are the precious words from the Bible, then I would be so lucky to hear them.
A Mesh of a God First Small Group and Apex Gathering.
Adam and I are part of a small group going through a study focused on Surrender and putting God first. We are also still in love with our big family at Apex. The music at Apex Sunday was so nice, thank you to all involved in making the sound, billowing to God, so awesome to be a part of. I truly am blessed to be a part of something so much bigger than myself, where my kids are known and loved for exactly who and what they are. I love the fact that during singing a song to God I can take the time to try and explain communion to my 4 year old and that when she doesn't understand why I am such a mean mommy that my friend Amy was able to take her when she left my side so upset. First of all I love that someone even noticed a tiny little 4 year old crying in the front row. I found out later that not only did Amy lessen the hurt, but her awesome husband also joined in on the fun. My friend let my daughter know that although she didn't understand what her mommy was doing by not allowing her to eat the bread that had been ready and waiting for her since before the service began, that she was trying her mommy best. They even told her for me that even if one kid did something she wasn't allowed to do that it didn't make it right, even if it wasn't fair. Thank you Dave and Amy. Boy are Adam and I going to miss you. You all are awesome!
I learned this week that I struggle with surrender. Heck, we probably all do. Really all sin ever really consists of is not surrendering to God's will for our lives. We tend to then suffer the consequences then and wonder why our lives are so hard. We are all really just a bunch of Jonahs. Joe was talking about Jonah, and although I have heard the story and read the book a bunch of times, I noticed more than ever the relationship between myself and Jonah. I am often not happy with what God obviously has in store for me and/or those around me. I try to run, by doing something else that in and of itself would not be bad, but when it's not done in accordance with God's plan it's funny how my plan doesn't ever seem to work out the way I think it should. Anyway, SURRENDER, what a concept! I discovered this on a written journey with my friend Kristie this week, who I probably let down, by being a butt-head doing some of those not in and of themselves not so bad things I do.
Adam and I just returned from a short trip to visit an investment property in Arizona. We had a pleasant trip, but it is funny how much you can miss people you see at least once a week when a whole week goes by without seeing them! I hope that all of our extended nuclear family, because that's where I would be if a nuclear bomb was going to hit and I knew about it with 5 minutes notice, are having a fabulous weeks vacation from me. Last but definately not least, I would like everyone to know that Ester rocks. Boy if only I could be outspoken when it was critical and quiet when necessary my life would definately go smoother, and probably more peaceful as well.
Just a reminder
While part of a small group of people, I was reminded that any encouragement to follow in Jesus' footsteps is a great reminder. Sometimes I too get caught up in the "we have to" or "we shouldn't" of following Father, and what it boils down to is any time I am encouraged to chase after Him is a good time. Yes, there will be times when I do not agree with a speaker whether it is someone in front of myself and thousands of other listeners or a group of 3 or 4 in the living room of a friend, who I know is well intentioned and so I listen. I try and not only listen, but hear their heart as well. If my friend is not on track, then I talk to my friend and with God we sort through it. When it isn't my friend I am listening to and hear the speaker go off track I pray for them and I know God will send their friends into their living room to talk with them. God is bigger than any of us give Him credit for. God will lead us on the path He has prepaired for us to follow. I am so glad to be on this journey with so many amazing friends called to so many different places. I am glad that we all aren't doing the exact same thing, how boring this journery would be. Instead it is exciting, sometimes scarey, often a riotous good time, and never boring, well except when I close my eyes to what is going on around me and sit at home sulking about what a boring life I have. However, that is an entirely new blog of its own. Besides my life is not my own. I traded it in for something so much more than myself. I am part of God's family, and it is so big and amazing, that boring is not a part of its vocabulary. Heck, the only family I know and understand is the one I was raised with, and as the oldest of 10 kids, that had opportunities to ride in Rolls Royce's and eat government cheese in my childhood I can say one thing life in a family is never boring or depressing. So, I am trying to keep my eyes open and be a part of a family even bigger and more exciting than anything I have ever known. What's funny about that is that I don't have to do anything to be a part of that family, but just like roller coasters it's always more exciting with your eyes open and your arms up in the air!
