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Movie Moods

Adam and I watched 2 inappropriate for children movies in the last week. Both made you look at the evil that lives in the hearts of all men. In a book I was reading one person asked another if they could rape, kill, and pillage like people they had heard about in foreign lands on the news. After a bit of reflection, the answer of the American was yes, because not admitting this would be like saying I am better than that guy in the 3rd world country. I don't know what I would be like as an individual if I was starving in an impoverished country, without more than insurance, but without modern medicine at all, heck without everything material and basic necessities. The movies we watched were Constant Gardener and Lord of War. Both were thought provocing, and almost too much in the same week. After the second movie Adam was counting our blessings, (after the first we sat in silence for 15 or 20 minutes) and after the second movie I just had a breakdown. I just wanted to crawl into bed and die of starvation in protest. How can I live with so much while others don't even have the things I tell my children are "all you need" you know clothes on your back,the roof over your head, food in your belly and water. I really would never commit suicide, because I think it would be selfish of me, and because 99.9999% of the time I am able to look at the good in life, but when you're faced with such atrocities it's hard to...well anything. I want to make a difference, but how do you do that? How do we do that? Do I sell everything I own and give it the poor. Jesus said their will always be poor, but he also didn't own a home or anything else. If I did give up everything, would it make a difference? Do I just try and treat everyone I come into contact with the best I can and help those God places in my life. I know people in America need Jesus just as much as people in Africa, and other 3rd world countries on different continents. I know everyone needs Jesus, but I'm not saying He is the answer to all the world's problems though either. It's just that if I sold everything I owned, I don't know what else I would do with myself besides go and be a missionary somewhere impoverished.
However, God did bless me with kids and He did bless me with the priviledge of being born in the U.S.A. and for that I am greatful that I have far more than the "basics" that I tell my children is all we need. What does all of this wealth mean? Why me and not aids stricken orphan in the third world country, and why am I so blessed and how do I show my gratitude? I am full of questions right now.

posted by MrH @ 2:03 AM